Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid?

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If you often notice these seven signs, know that they are red flags of growing distance between you and your significant other

When you're in a relationship long enough, you know most of the traits in your partner. What your significant other does, where he goes, what he likes or dislikes. But when you begin to feel like you are being pushed away from his life or that his behaviour has changed and he doesn't want to spend that much time with you, you're natural for you to think "Is he cheating or am I paranoid!" 

Chances are he is not. However, if you often notice these seven signs, know that they are red flags of growing distance between you and your significant other.  

Is He Cheating Or Am I Paranoid? 

Your answer is yes, if you notice the following quite often. 

1. Major behavioural changes 

These are not changes in his health, ladies. These are changes in how he behaves around you, and with you especially when he's around friends or family.

You've been together long enough to know that when he says he's going out for a walk, he's probably sitting somewhere eating hot Cheetos.

So if he is gone for more than two hours and doesn't respond to your messages or even refuses sex, there is something to worry about.

However, don't jump the gun just yet. Sometimes behavioural changes such as these are a sign of more deeper issues like depression or anxiety. Try to talk to him about what's been bothering him and offer your help in anyway you possibly can. 

2. He gives you vague information about this whereabouts 

When you're in a healthy relationship, there is no reason for your significant other to hide his whereabouts from you. He should willingly tell you where he might be headed off to. Should you expect him to volunteer information? No. But then again, you've built a relationship solid enough to not need to be told everything about your partner. 

However, if you ask and he is vague about it, chances are he might be hiding something. But as always, before jumping the gun, it's best to do a little investigation. It is possible that he is planning something special for you, but that is just a one off incident.

If it happens more frequently than you expect, it could be that he is hiding something and confrontation and open communication is the best way to deal with this situation. 

3. He prefers to go out without you 

You don't have to be attached to your partner's hip to know that you are in a stable relationship. Every individual has his or her own comfort zone. But if you spend more time apart and less together, it is a red flag situation. This is especially true if your partner spends his time apart with his friends or in bars or even in office. 

Worse still, he doesn't even disclose where he spends that time apart and prefers to keep this information to himself. In this situation, its best to know that while you can't know where your partner is all the time. There are things that he can't do with you like go to his office. Mundane activities are not a cause for worry.  

4. He intentionally excludes you from his personal plans 

If your partner often heads out for social gatherings and doesn't invite you with him or prefers to go about them alone, there is something amiss. The reason the two of you are together is because you have a lot in common and love spending time with each other. 

But if he doesn't do that anymore, you're not wrong to be slightly vigilant. It's natural for you to wonder "Is he cheating or am I paranoid?" 

However, look at it from his perspective as well. He might not want to include in all his plans especially if he needs a bit of guy time or just some time alone. It may not strike him to invite you to an all guys game.

You might not be on the same page about it as well. So its best to talk things out and figure it between the two of you.  

5. You know some of his friends who've cheated on their partners before 

You love your partner and you support his ideas and decisions. But when he begins to talk like he justifies his friends' actions of cheating on their significant others, its definitely a red flag. Sometimes your friends' behaviour can rub off on you and we're not saying monkey-does-what-monkey-sees, but it can happen. 

If his friends often talk about infidelity, they might be normalising it for him and that's a definite red flag. It's then natural for you to think "Is he cheating or am I paranoid?" 

If you believe that its happening quite that often, make sure you talk about why its not okay to cheat on one's partner and how you may be opposed to normalising this behaviour. 

6. He is often too secretive about his phone

Who isn't, right? But its one thing to be addicted to your phone and a whole another if your'e trying to hide something on it. Behaviour such as changing his password one too often or not allowing you to even touch his phone or answer any calls, is also a red flag. 

But, but, but, before you jump to conclusions that your partner is cheating just because he is often on the phone is incorrect. Our phones are almost like journals and say a lot about each other. It is a possibility that his job requires him to be on his cell most of the time. If you are however, suspicious, speak to him and share your concern. 

7. He receives messages from people you don't know 

Let's be real. You're never going to know all the people your significant other interacts with, whether it is his friends or his colleagues. So you wouldn't know who he speaks to all the time. But if you've been in a relationship long enough, he may have mentioned about people who matter to play or work with him one too often. 

And if he still receives messages from those other than the one's he's mentioned before, especially if its a call he doesn't take in front of you, its natural for you to think "Is he cheating or am I paranoid?" 

But as always, talk to him about this concern before you jump to unnecessary conclusions. 

Also read: Have you subconsciously been micro-cheating on your partner?

(All images courtesy: Unsplash)